Anxiety Mission Log: Stardate-2012.2.3. Creeping my veins, this crippling anxiety attack

[crimson89]

 I can feel it. Creeping up through my veins. Paralyzing me. Slowly but surely, affecting my physical then to cognitive senses.

This. It's my last chance to redeem myself/ Please let me pass. Please let me push through. I badly need it. I'm in need of it's assurance. Call me coward. I am but a self-preserving Slytherin

I want to survive.
Make me feel alive.


Please. Oh, please. Give me this opportunity.


Whoever's up there. Whatever deity/Supreme being who's listening. Please let me pass. Pass enough to be given the chance. As in 80%.


Give me knowledge. Guide me. Strengthen my nerves and courage to pull through. Revive my dying will. I have a lot of regrets.
I know, I haven't yet reach the stage of dying. But if you want, I could. I would. 

I don't wanna be useless. Yes, it's fulfilling. But I am on borrowed time here. It depresses me so. How easily I get left behind.

Pleasepleaseplease don't let me be behind.
I don't wanna be left alone. I won't 

Give me this chance. Let me pass. I'll even let those fools use this computer for work. And not selfishly, use this for myself.
I badly need this. Did I not state this earlier? How every phrase, paragraph from up above this entry states so?


Please Lord. Pleasepleaseplease. Let me pass this.